I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
