I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
