he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize