I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
