I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
