Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Please, let me fuck your mom
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
