the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize