That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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