He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
