To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
