she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
