I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
accomplished twins. life is a go
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
