So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
