It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
