K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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