Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
