Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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