direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
