Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize