i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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