you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
