she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
