They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is Oprah even human
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
