i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am naked and annoyed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
