she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
