We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize