I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
