And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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