do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This baby is an asshole
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize