If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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