your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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