Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
