Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize