i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
