Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
