Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize