Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
