talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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