if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
