Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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