she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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