They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize