Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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