When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The air taste purple.
Randomize
