I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
