You're my little dorito
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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