Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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