So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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