my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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