i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i love accidental penises.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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