life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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