well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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