My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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