you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
