Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
