PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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