these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
