Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
