That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
3 2 1 whiskey
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
