I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
