Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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