Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
