Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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