that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
