well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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