i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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