..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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