I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
