i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
