If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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