He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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