This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
