he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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