Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
