OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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