38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
