Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
