We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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