I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
