sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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