but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
