you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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